Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Communication - four styles

Four Styles, Four Approaches

If you've been reading the previous posts, you now know that each heart line type, each love style type has a different communication style. Curvy lines need to express how they feel, straight lines are reserved and cautious about communication and sharing feelings. And there has been information on short heart lines being self-focused while long heart lines are focused on other people's needs first.

What you may not yet know is that many people have more than one heart line type. Sometimes your left hand has a different heart line than your right hand. Or you have multiple heart lines on one hand like the example above and in rare cases, both hands have multiple heart lines. Can you see that the heart line splits under the middle finger (Saturn) and then breaks into two lines. In the above case it creates 3 heart line types.
The owner of this has three different communication styles, three ways he or she expresses love and 3 ways to receive love. It may be confusing not only for the heart line owner, but people in his or her life. It's possible that a person with multiple heart lines could bounce back and forth between each expression. And it could happen "in the moment." Let's call this person "Bill" for the sake of conversation. Bill could be warm and friendly with the Big Heart then 'suddenly' become very Hermit-like, wanting to be alone. And it could happen spontaneously. What is Bill to do? Which heart line does he follow? Which expression of love is most promiment?
Another possibility is that Bill could express one style, let's say the Romantic Idealist, for many months, then start owning the Hermit part and tht becomes dominant. There isn't any predictable way the three styles will be expressed. But being conscious of the options, not only for the heart line owner with 3 different potential expressions, but for those around him or her will help the others understand why the 3-heart line type owner may appear 'moody.'

Monday, September 15, 2008

Love Styles and Sex

Love Styles and Sex

Each heart type has specific requests to experience satisfying sexual relationships. The following explanation is not the WHOLE picture because the heart line is only one marking on the hands. It’s also possible that circumstances, experiences and individual beliefs influence your perspectives. For instance, sexual abuse may impact your desire/issues around sexual activity.
If you have multiple heart lines, the information still applies for each heart line type. The application depends on the circumstances, people involved, mood, which heart line is dominant. And also be aware that it could change in the middle of a lovemaking session.

With a Passionate on one hand and a Hermit on the other, the Passionate could start making love but the Hermit could come appear, changing the mood. Your partner says something that feels disloyal and the Hermit loses trust in that moment.
Or if you have a Big Heart and Romantic Idealist, both need connection before making love.

Passionate: Of all the heart lines, this is the one that potentially has the highest need for actual sexual and sensual experiences. You could have sex just for the sake of the physical activity. None of the other heart lines are motivated in this same way. The desires for the Passionate heart line are about stimulation, excitement, fun, playfulness, intensity of expression and feelings, communication through the physical body. The curvier your Passionate heart line, the more potential for a higher sex requirement.

Big Heart: If there isn’t connection at an emotional level, it is very difficult for this heart line to engage in meaningful sex. It’s best if verbal, physical and emotional affection as well as foreplay are an integral part of every lovemaking session with a Big Heart. "Quickies" generally don’t work for a Big Heart. But Big Hearts are very affectionate and sometimes hugging or holding satisfies a sexual desire temporarily. Also, Big Hearts, because they are other oriented, may agree to engage in sexual activity when that isn’t really what they want, or may agree as long as he or she also gets connection time in another way - maybe negotiating or bargaining is involved.

Romantic Idealist: Lovemaking is most satisfying for the Romantic Idealist when deep conversation is involved, either before or during lovemaking. Or, if the pattern has been established that having a deep meaningful conversation gets to follow sex, then that is the payoff for the Romantic Idealist. If the relationship is at odds, and there hasn’t been recent time to share deeply, the disconnection may be too big to overcome and have the Romantic Idealist actually be able to be present for lovemaking. You may go through the motions to please your partner, (others first) putting his or her needs first, but your joy and emotional expression are missing.

Hermit: Being an earth heart line, the Hermit’s needs are tangible, more solid, grounded, and physical. Because commitment, loyalty and integrity are so important to a Hermit, having sex for the sake of sex generally doesn’t fit in the picture. If things in the relationship are on good terms, sex is possible as long as the Hermit has had enough sanctuary time to feel satisfied, and doesn’t feel his or her partner is using sex to cling and get connection.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Love Styes Who are Receiving Challenged

"Receiving Challenged" Heart Lines

Did you know that two of the heart lines are espeically receiving challenged? They are the Hermit and Big Heart. Why, or how is this true?

The Big Heart, long and curvy, is focused on other people's needs first. There is a feeling of "selfishness" if the Big Heart receives. Not to worry. But it can be learned. "Receiving challenged" doesn't mean it's not possible. In fact, some Big Hearts I've talked with have moved to the master path and can actually say "thank you" when given a compliment. And receive gifts in the same manner, without deflecting or changing topics.

The Hermit is short straight heart line, completely opposite from the Big Heart, and can also be 'receiving challenged' but for a different reason. Hermits tend to be self-contained. They would rather do things themselves because then it won't have to done over and it will be done right the first time. So receviing help is more challenging for a Hermit. And even compliments may look difficult to receive because Hermits tend to be cautious about communicating feelings so a response to a compliment may be a nod or a twinkle in the eye - you may have to look for it.

And this can be a learned change, too. Not all Hermits are quietly responsive. Some actually say "thank you" out loud and the ones on the master path actually ask for help and let themselves be given to.

If you don't have one of these heart line types, it may be frustrating for you when you give a compliment or offer to help and are rejected. Don't give up and maybe providing feedback would benefit if you can do it with humor like, "feeling a little bit receiving challenged at the moment?"