Wednesday, September 16, 2009

When you lose yourself in relationship

How do you lose yourself in relationship?

Watching Oprah's interview with Whitney Houston part 1, it's clear that Whitney diminished herself in order to feel loved by her husband, Bobby Brown. By her own admission, Bobby's jealousy of her success and icon status caused discomfort for both of them. Whitney's solution was to hid herself - caught between being the singer/performer she was and being a wife. Could she have it both? Whitney couldn't see how that could happen for her.

Where are you losing yourself in relationship? What are you giving up and do you know how to stand for yourself? Do you avoid being in relationship because you are afraid you won't be able to stay in your own power? I've had those experiences in my life - losing myself, giving up my power in order to be loved.

It doesn't work. Ever. Not being you never works and the more you diminish yourself the more the other person wants you to diminish yourself. The first time when you are dating you 'are nice' and let another dominate a conversation, making it all about him or her, you are in danger of setting a precedent of what gives your power away.

Being aware of how you want to be loved, what you will sacrifice 'in order to be loved' is something that can change your life in a good way. If you look at some of the previous posts on the heart line types, you'll see some tangible examples of how you might, on the student path, give up yourself and what it looks like when you are being true to yourself.