Your Love Life - Successful?

Is Your Love Life Successful?
by Pamelah Landers

How would you define a successful love life? Would you see it as being hugged? Talked to in a soothing voice? Somebody helping you do things? Do you feel loved when you are listened to? How about when the other person wants to make love with you? Does that equate to feeling loved? Maybe it's a few of these things and maybe it's something else completely. Maybe you feel loved when your partner actually gives you free to do what you want to do?

One thing I know from reading hands is that people do have their individual style of what being loved means to them. The biggest issue I see is that people aren't communicating it with their spouse, partner or dating partner. Sometimes that's because you don't have the words to articulate what you want. And sometimes it comes from not feeling like you deserve to be heard.

Here is a one major characteristic for each heart line type about what it looks like and how it feels when that heart line type is feeling loved, or when you are experiencing your love style.

Passionate heart line type: Passionates feel loved when you express your feelings, your feelings are taken into consideration by your partner and then action is taken to satisfy your desire. You ask directly for where you want to celebrate Valentine's Day, what you want to do after dinner and how you want to have your partner dress. Your partner says yes to all your requests and you feel loved.

Big Heart line type: Big Hearts feel loved when you are giving to another and it is received. You desire to make dinner for your husband, want him to dress up for dinner and dance with you afterwards in the living room to your favorite songs. Your husband loves this idea and appreciates every piece of the evening, and tells you how much he appreciates you and what you have done. You take it in and receive his praise. You feel loved.

Romantic Idealist heart line type: Romantic Idealists desire to be heard, to engage in a deep, meaningful conversation. When there is conversation both ways and each person is sharing and being heard at a deep level, the Romantic Idealist feels loved.

Hermit heart line type: Hermits show love by doing things for others. Rotating your tires on Valentine's Day or fixing the lawn mower would be a perfect, ideal gift for a Hermit to give you. In response, if you show love to a Hermit by doing something for him or her, the Hermit will feel loved. If you create a nice meal on Valentine's Day, making his or her favorite meal, and then take action to participate in an activity that the Hermit loves, the Hermit will feel loved.

When you lose yourself in relationship

How do you lose yourself in relationship?

Watching Oprah's interview with Whitney Houston part 1, it's clear that Whitney diminished herself in order to feel loved by her husband, Bobby Brown. By her own admission, Bobby's jealousy of her success and icon status caused discomfort for both of them. Whitney's solution was to hid herself - caught between being the singer/performer she was and being a wife. Could she have it both? Whitney couldn't see how that could happen for her.

Where are you losing yourself in relationship? What are you giving up and do you know how to stand for yourself? Do you avoid being in relationship because you are afraid you won't be able to stay in your own power? I've had those experiences in my life - losing myself, giving up my power in order to be loved.

It doesn't work. Ever. Not being you never works and the more you diminish yourself the more the other person wants you to diminish yourself. The first time when you are dating you 'are nice' and let another dominate a conversation, making it all about him or her, you are in danger of setting a precedent of what gives your power away.

Being aware of how you want to be loved, what you will sacrifice 'in order to be loved' is something that can change your life in a good way. If you look at some of the previous posts on the heart line types, you'll see some tangible examples of how you might, on the student path, give up yourself and what it looks like when you are being true to yourself.