Communication - four styles

Four Styles, Four Approaches

If you've been reading the previous posts, you now know that each heart line type, each love style type has a different communication style. Curvy lines need to express how they feel, straight lines are reserved and cautious about communication and sharing feelings. And there has been information on short heart lines being self-focused while long heart lines are focused on other people's needs first.

What you may not yet know is that many people have more than one heart line type. Sometimes your left hand has a different heart line than your right hand. Or you have multiple heart lines on one hand like the example above and in rare cases, both hands have multiple heart lines. Can you see that the heart line splits under the middle finger (Saturn) and then breaks into two lines. In the above case it creates 3 heart line types.

The owner of this has three different communication styles, three ways he or she expresses love and 3 ways to receive love. It may be confusing not only for the heart line owner, but people in his or her life. It's possible that a person with multiple heart lines could bounce back and forth between each expression. And it could happen "in the moment." Let's call this person "Bill" for the sake of conversation. Bill could be warm and friendly with the Big Heart then 'suddenly' become very Hermit-like, wanting to be alone. And it could happen spontaneously. What is Bill to do? Which heart line does he follow? Which expression of love is most promiment?

Another possibility is that Bill could express one style, let's say the Romantic Idealist, for many months, then start owning the Hermit part and tht becomes dominant. There isn't any predictable way the three styles will be expressed. But being conscious of the options, not only for the heart line owner with 3 different potential expressions, but for those around him or her will help the others understand why the 3-heart line type owner may appear 'moody.'

Love Styles and Sex

Love Styles and Sex

Each heart type has specific requests to experience satisfying sexual relationships. The following explanation is not the WHOLE picture because the heart line is only one marking on the hands. It’s also possible that circumstances, experiences and individual beliefs influence your perspectives. For instance, sexual abuse may impact your desire/issues around sexual activity.
If you have multiple heart lines, the information still applies for each heart line type. The application depends on the circumstances, people involved, mood, which heart line is dominant. And also be aware that it could change in the middle of a lovemaking session.

With a Passionate on one hand and a Hermit on the other, the Passionate could start making love but the Hermit could come appear, changing the mood. Your partner says something that feels disloyal and the Hermit loses trust in that moment.
Or if you have a Big Heart and Romantic Idealist, both need connection before making love.

Passionate: Of all the heart lines, this is the one that potentially has the highest need for actual sexual and sensual experiences. You could have sex just for the sake of the physical activity. None of the other heart lines are motivated in this same way. The desires for the Passionate heart line are about stimulation, excitement, fun, playfulness, intensity of expression and feelings, communication through the physical body. The curvier your Passionate heart line, the more potential for a higher sex requirement.

Big Heart: If there isn’t connection at an emotional level, it is very difficult for this heart line to engage in meaningful sex. It’s best if verbal, physical and emotional affection as well as foreplay are an integral part of every lovemaking session with a Big Heart. "Quickies" generally don’t work for a Big Heart. But Big Hearts are very affectionate and sometimes hugging or holding satisfies a sexual desire temporarily. Also, Big Hearts, because they are other oriented, may agree to engage in sexual activity when that isn’t really what they want, or may agree as long as he or she also gets connection time in another way - maybe negotiating or bargaining is involved.

Romantic Idealist: Lovemaking is most satisfying for the Romantic Idealist when deep conversation is involved, either before or during lovemaking. Or, if the pattern has been established that having a deep meaningful conversation gets to follow sex, then that is the payoff for the Romantic Idealist. If the relationship is at odds, and there hasn’t been recent time to share deeply, the disconnection may be too big to overcome and have the Romantic Idealist actually be able to be present for lovemaking. You may go through the motions to please your partner, (others first) putting his or her needs first, but your joy and emotional expression are missing.

Hermit: Being an earth heart line, the Hermit’s needs are tangible, more solid, grounded, and physical. Because commitment, loyalty and integrity are so important to a Hermit, having sex for the sake of sex generally doesn’t fit in the picture. If things in the relationship are on good terms, sex is possible as long as the Hermit has had enough sanctuary time to feel satisfied, and doesn’t feel his or her partner is using sex to cling and get connection.

Love Styes Who are Receiving Challenged

"Receiving Challenged" Heart Lines

Did you know that two of the heart lines are espeically receiving challenged? They are the Hermit and Big Heart. Why, or how is this true?

The Big Heart, long and curvy, is focused on other people's needs first. There is a feeling of "selfishness" if the Big Heart receives. Not to worry. But it can be learned. "Receiving challenged" doesn't mean it's not possible. In fact, some Big Hearts I've talked with have moved to the master path and can actually say "thank you" when given a compliment. And receive gifts in the same manner, without deflecting or changing topics.

The Hermit is short straight heart line, completely opposite from the Big Heart, and can also be 'receiving challenged' but for a different reason. Hermits tend to be self-contained. They would rather do things themselves because then it won't have to done over and it will be done right the first time. So receviing help is more challenging for a Hermit. And even compliments may look difficult to receive because Hermits tend to be cautious about communicating feelings so a response to a compliment may be a nod or a twinkle in the eye - you may have to look for it.

And this can be a learned change, too. Not all Hermits are quietly responsive. Some actually say "thank you" out loud and the ones on the master path actually ask for help and let themselves be given to.

If you don't have one of these heart line types, it may be frustrating for you when you give a compliment or offer to help and are rejected. Don't give up and maybe providing feedback would benefit if you can do it with humor like, "feeling a little bit receiving challenged at the moment?"

Love Style - Curvy heart lines

Curvy heart lines - the need to express feelings
Heart lines that curve up and touch the index finger (Big Heart) or middle finger (Passionate) actually have a NEED to express feelings. The straight heart line types (Hermit & Romantic Idealist) don't have this same need. It comes from a pressure that builds through the neurology of the curvy line.

For example, if you have curvy lines and find yourself holding back on expressing feelings, the pressure builds until you do. And then you do express and the relief is huge. You can move to the next level because you've "moved through and moved on."

And because these curvy heart lines are designed express, any holding back is counter to your innate design and isn't of service to you.

Love Style More on the Romantic Idealist

The Romantic Idealist - part 2

This heart line that is straight and ends under the index (Jupiter) finger has another significant characteristic. If you read the previous blog about the Romantic Idealist you learned that his heart line type is cautious about communicating feelings and is very observant.

Along with being observant this love style type is also challenged to make decisions easily. Of all the fourt heart line types. the Romantic Idealist, I believe, is the most challenged to identify what is wanted, and then ask for it. First of all, an RI is focused on other people's needs first, making identifying their own needs somewhat inhibiting. "Do I have the right to my own needs," maybe the question an RI asks internally.So identify the needs - step one - is already a question.

The second step is actually formulating the desire into a language in the mind of an RI. This may be a while - not only minutes but maybe hours, days, weeks. Because the straight line brings rationality into the picture and thinking about feelings, to actually formulate the desire in language requires going through the analytical cycle and whether or not the desire " makes sense." To any other heart line type this process seems painfully slow.

The third is actually saying the request out loud or writing it down (easier than verbalizing for most Romantic Idealists). so by the time a request is actually verbalized it has gone through quite a process. And some requests never reach the surface or see the light of day because the analytical process may stop the RI from actually believing he or she has the right to ask for this or that it's possible to have this desire met.

Recommendation: take a risk. Just say something sometime without having to spend a lot of time thinking it through as a 'test' to an alternative process. I could speed up having your needs met.

A heart Line extra marking: Board of Directors

The "Board of Directors" Line

In the hand on the left, there is a line that connects the heart line to the head line. It's a straight horizontal line that begins in this print on the thumb side of the hand. See at the edge of the hand, connecting to the beginning of the head line. And is quite straight. It goes to just under the middle (Saturn) finger and ends when it touches the heart line (the line closest to the fingers). Do you see it? That is called "the Board of Directors" line.

One additional technical point - the Board of Directors line connects with heart line under the Saturn finger. The Saturn (middle) finger represents business systems and structures in part. The "Board of Directors" is a term that applies to businesses for the most part which is a Saturn type of energy. So the BOD at the heart line end pulls on the Saturn characteristic of 'responsibility." A person with a BOD would want to be 'responsible' about making decisions so would pull in the mind/head line to make sure that the entire 'responsible' system is involved.

When this shows up on a hand, it means that the owner of the line will use both their heart (feelings) and head (thinking) when making decisions. The good news is that this person is fully in alignment with whatever decision is made - because they have included both feelings AND the logical/analytical mind/thinking parts of themselves to decide something. So their energy is fully engaged and committed to following the decision. Let's say the owner of this hand above, we'll call her Judy, has been asked to join a friend for a day hike. Knowing the location of the hike would be important (head line info) and who else is going (heart line info). Once that information is provided, then Judy could decide if the logistics (head line) would work and if the emotional experience about who is going and whether or not she likes them (heart line) works for her. If Judy is in alignment with both the location and the people, then it would be possible to say "yes" to the hike and be fully engaged - both feelings and thinking are saying this is a good thing.

The challenge, however, is when their heart has a different idea than their head. For example, if in the above story Judy likes the location but doesn't like one of the people who is going, Judy may be challenged to decide what to do. Her head is happy with the logistics but her heart isn't all that joyful about this one person. What does she do?

People with a Board of Directors line are often in turmoil about making decisions. So often they let others decide and they go along with the decision or they feel confused about a decision and don't know whether to "feel good about it or not" (heart) or "wonder if the right decision was made (head).

Solution: allow both your feelings and thoughts to be considered, even saying them out loud if necessary. Then trust your gut. It will be easier on you and everybody if you are the one with the Board of Directors line.

Love Style and Choice

Your Love Style and the choices you have

For each love style there is a student path (what doesn't feel good) and the master path (what feels good, what serves you best). And in each moment you are at choice about which option you select.

The reason this matter is because, like anything in life, you are the master of your environment. You are the one who trains others how to treat you, as Dr. Phil says from television.

How are you educating people in life how to treat you? How are you acting and responding that tells them, "it's OK to treat me this way." Recently I was at a gathering where somebody was saying things to me tht didn't feel good, although he claims he was teasing me. Even after I teased him back about not saying these things to me, he continued. I decided to educate him in a different way - directly by saying it didn't feel like teasing to me.

I stood on the master path of my heart line and said what I felt, and said what was not OK about how to be treated.

Each day we have many chances to choose the master or student path in every interaction. What does being true to your heart look like with your co-workers? partners? children? family? friends? When you know, in your body, that how somebody is talking to you doesn't feel right to you, what choice do you make? Do you let it continue? Do you ask yourself what other options exist? Do you ask yourself, "what could I say that might provide more clarity for this other person about how I want to be treated in the future?"

Each day, each hour you have the choice to honor yourself and feel the truth of what supports you. And you can help others learn what that is so it's a win-win for everybody.